Should I buy gender neutral gifts?
Play is a wonderful opportunity for children to experiment with and explore gender. It provides a safe container to try new roles, wear different clothes, and imagine beyond what we know to be possible. Often, though, toys and gifts for kids are designed with specific genders in mind.
Studies show that “girls’ toys were associated with physical attractiveness, nurturing, and domestic skill, whereas boys’ toys were rated as violent, competitive, exciting, and somewhat dangerous. The toys rated as most likely to be educational and to develop children’s physical, cognitive, artistic, and other skills were typically categorized as neutral or moderately masculine.” These associations tell us more about gender stereotypes and sexism than they do about which toys should be used by which children.
As we collectively learn more about gender and parenting, gift giving can become more complicated. Parents and caregivers wanting to ‘do the right thing’ often ask me, “should I be buying gender neutral gifts?”
While the answer depends on the child and their interests, there are benefits to both gender-typed and gender neutral toys, and exposure to both nurtures healthy development.
Reasons to give gender neutral toys
Researchers have concluded that neutral or moderately gender-typed toys foster optimal development.
Gender neutral toys tend to utilize more types of cognitive, academic, spatial, physical, musical, and artistic skills.
Gendered toys could encourage a focus on attributes that parents wouldn’t want to foster, such as an emphasis on appearance or a glorification of violence and aggression.
Reasons to give gender-typed toys
Many toys that are considered more ‘masculine’ help develop spatial skills, scientific thinking, and an engineering perspective, which are important for development regardless of gender identity.
Moderately feminine toys encourage nurturance, care for infants, and practical skills in cooking and housework, which are qualities that parents might want to encourage in their child regardless of gender identity.
Gender-typed toys can be a wonderful opportunity for gender exploration and are an essential part of the development process for all children.
Why you should give toys dependent on the young person you are shopping for.
Gift giving can be a way to show that you care about and understand a child’s identity and is a great opportunity to learn more about them. Talk to the children in your life about what interests them, what they are curious about, and what they would like to try. If the child you care about LOVES princesses, or trucks, or horses, or dinosaurs, or making slime, go with it - regardless of their gender.
Giving kids the freedom to choose and explore beyond the limitations of the gender binary is the best thing you can do to support their identity development.
If you decide to go the gender neutral route, here are some Gift Guides:
An Age-by-Age Guide to Gender-Neutral Gifts for Kids
20 Gender Neutral Toys 2021 - Why Gender-Neutral Toys Are Good
Best Gender-Neutral Gifts for Tomboys & Kids of Any Gender – SheKnows
Want to better understand gender so you can support the kids in your life?
Sign up for How To Talk To Kids About Gender, the course that helps parents and caregivers have the not-so-difficult conversations that matter about gender.
