Men Are Lonely; It's Why They're Obsessed with Ancient Rome
The internet has borne witness to myriad trends, but few as intriguing to me as the recent viral question posed to men: "How often do you think about Ancient Rome?" While it's easy to dismiss this as a simple internet oddity or even an emblem of male power fantasies and misogyny, closer examination reveals a complex tapestry of modern anxieties, gender socialization, racial dynamics, and the loneliness inherent in modern masculinity.
Early Gender Socialization & Education
From the moment children are born, and often before, societal norms and expectations begin to shape their exposure to and engagement in various interests and behaviors. Those assigned male at birth are often socialized to develop an affinity for themes of war, conquest, and ancient civilizations. Walk into any toy store, and the "boys'" section is replete with toy guns and soldiers, and playsets that recreate historic battles and empires. Meanwhile, girls are frequently steered away from these themes, encouraged instead towards more domestic or 'feminine' playthings. It's no coincidence that Ancient Rome, with its tales of gladiators, emperors, and military campaigns, is introduced in the curriculum during middle school, a critical developmental stage when peer acceptance is paramount. This social and educational conditioning might explain why many women report seldom reflecting on Ancient Rome as adults, while many men recall it with a certain fondness or nostalgia.
The Lure of Power, Violence, and Patriarchy
Historically, Ancient Rome symbolized an era where power structures were overtly hierarchical. For certain corners of the internet, particularly spaces like 4chan and incel forums, Ancient Rome's hierarchical society offers an escape from today's more egalitarian norms. By romanticizing this era, some men attempt to reclaim a perceived loss of societal power. While the immediate association with Rome might be its gladiatorial games and military conquests, viewing the empire solely through this lens does it a disservice. Yes, there are elements that equate violence with masculinity, but the empire lasted for centuries and encompassed far more than its battles and arenas.
Gender Norms and Relational Intimacy
In today's world, male friendships often fall short of the emotional depth that was a cornerstone in historical societies like Ancient Rome. There, bonds of camaraderie, mentorship, and even homoeroticism were not just accepted but celebrated. Modern men, however, find themselves navigating a culture that encourages 'shoulder-to-shoulder' activities—like watching sports—over intimate 'face-to-face' conversations. This emotional restraint is amplified by a societal expectation of rugged individualism, leading many men to avoid physical touch or to preemptively neutralize such gestures with phrases like 'no homo.' In this context, the Rome question and its female counterpart, “how often do you think about your ex-best friend” become particularly revealing. The two questions underline how societal norms funnel men and women into specific emotional and relational roles—roles that often keep men emotionally isolated, even as they long for the deeper connections of their historical counterparts.
Societal Anxieties and Racial Dimensions
The fascination with Ancient Rome is multi-layered, tinged both with apprehension about societal collapse and a particular racial focus. Rome's decline resonates with those who worry that today's global challenges—such as climate change, economic disparities, and political instability—signal a similar fate for our own society. This adds a layer of anxiety to the fascination with the empire's history. It's also crucial to note that this preoccupation predominantly emerges among a specific demographic, with fewer POC echoing the same sentiments. This may be attributable to Ancient Rome's problematic idealization in white supremacist narratives, suggesting that the allure of Rome is not universal but is instead influenced by both current anxieties and racial perspectives.
It’s More Than A Trend
But beyond these layers of power dynamics, gender norms, and racial influences lies an overarching theme: loneliness. Whether it's the desire for deeper male friendships, a yearning for a more structured society, or fears about our world's uncertain future, the fixation on Ancient Rome may well be a manifestation of a profound sense of loneliness and a craving for connection that many modern men feel yet rarely articulate. In this light, the question about Ancient Rome becomes less about the empire itself and more about a search for meaning, belonging, and emotional resonance in a world that often leaves men feeling isolated.
Reflection Questions for Men:
Do you find that your interest in themes like war, power, and ancient civilizations serves as a form of escape or a way to reclaim a sense of lost agency?
How do societal norms about masculinity influence your friendships and emotional connections with other men? Do you feel that these norms restrict your ability to form deeper, more intimate relationships?
Have you ever considered that your fascination with history, particularly eras like Ancient Rome, might be a reflection of contemporary anxieties, such as societal collapse or shifting power dynamics? How does understanding this influence your perspective on modern challenges?
Take Action Today!
Read my article Should I Buy Gender Neutral Gifts to learn more about how you can expand your mind when it comes to the limitations of the gender binary!
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