Parent Voices: Why I Can't Return Home To Texas
by Sam Rodriguez (they/them)
Before joining the Navy, I spent my first 29 years in Houston; the city I love and would love to live there again; however, I know firsthand Texas's transphobic and homophobic climate. I know people who, in the same breath, say "I love you but" and vote for people who promote discriminatory, harmful policies.
I am a parent of an 18-month-old whose gender we did not assume based on sex. My wife and I practice gender creative parenting, which includes using they/them pronouns until they tell us how they identify. Gender creative parenting is not about erasing gender; it is parenting beyond the limitations of the gender binary. This parenting approach allows for expansiveness beyond the patriarchal gender-normative ideology commonly associated with assigned sex. It teaches that colors, clothing, and activities do not have genders, and each person has the right to bodily autonomy and the creation of their gender identity.
Anti-Trans Politics in Texas
On February 22, 2022, Texas Governor Abbott sent a letter to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS) ordering a child abuse investigation upon families who seek gender-affirming medically necessary care for their transgender children. Governor Abbott sent this letter in response to Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton's transphobic and misconstrued opinion concerning gender-affirming care for transgender minors. This act fuels the country's heavily growing anti-LGBTQ and anti-trans youth legislative attacks. Over 30 anti-LGBTQ bills within Texas, including 13 direct attacks on transgender youth, died in legislation recently, an extraordinary victory for the LGBTQ and Trans youth communities within Texas. I wonder if I were raising my child in Texas, would our parenting practice be considered "child abuse" by the like-minded folk of Gov. Abbott and AG Paxton?
Gender Affirming Care Saves Lives
Here are the facts: Major medical organizations and doctors around the country oppose harmful, fact-less legislation blocking transgender youth from gender-affirming care. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and the American Medical Association have signed statements condoning the appalling proposals, which would compromise the safety and well-being of transgender youth. All agree that gender-affirming care is medically necessary; youth have the right to explore their identity through safe and affirming providers, and receiving proven care lowers the risk of suicide.
What does this mean for LGBTQ+ youth?
Had the directive from Gov. Abbott been successful, it would force children out of loving, supportive, and affirming homes, landing them in the inadequate Texas foster care system, where abuse and exposure to homophobic and transphobic ideologies are present. If any of the anti-LGBTQ bills proposed passed, these harmful and biased laws could force supportive families to uproot their families in search of safe and affirming care for their child(ren). Furthermore, for any trans youth who does not have a supportive family, discriminative legislation puts their life at risk. Depression and suicide ideation are disproportionate among LGBTQ youth, as is the number of homeless LGBTQ youth due to unsupportive families. The Trevor Project's 2021 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health revealed that 52% of transgender and nonbinary youth reported seriously considering suicide, with 20% attempting; 94% of all surveyed reported a negative impact on their mental health by the political climate. 49% of transgender and nonbinary youth said that none of the people they lived with respected their pronouns and chosen names, resulting in a higher risk of suicidal ideation. According to the CDC, transgender teens have a higher risk of being victims of violence, including not feeling safe at school, being bullied, and intimate partner abuse. Laws purportedly intended to help children would do more harm to an already marginalized community.
Houston Is My Home, But I Can't Move Back.
Houston will always be my home, even though it carries the embarrassment of the toxic political climate of Texas - but I cannot move back. As a trans-nonbinary queer adult, I can handle living in an intolerant area, but I cannot subject my child to harmful legislation as a parent. Regardless of who my child declares they are, human rights are not up for debate. All people, including minors, deserve to be empowered to live their whole truth, receive support, access affirming services, and be respected. Families with transgender children, nonprofit organizations such as the ACLU, The Trevor Project, Lambda Legal, and allies across Texas have extensively worked to fight discriminative and unconstitutional legislation. What have you done?
Parent Voices is an anonymous opportunity for parents to voice their experience of raising a trans child, without disclosing their identity, and outing their child. If you would like to submit an article please send it to hello@genderspecialist.com with the subject line “Parent Voices”
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