The Intersection of Gender, Sexuality, and Neurodivergence
This year I have come to realize that the majority of my clients are multiply neurodivergent. Sonny Jane Wise (they/them) The Lived Experience Educator defines neurodiversity as “the natural diversity of human minds that acknowledges the whole spectrum of neuirdofsity from neurodivergent individuals to neurotypical individuals”. They explain that just as we are biologically diverse in our minds, we are diverse in our gender and sexuality! How did I not realize this sooner? Autism was almost left out of my education entirely and what I was taught was based on stereotypes and research done on white cisgender boys. So I spent the last six months learning from #actuallyautistic folks and hyperfixated on the intersection of gender, sexuality, and neurodivergence.
Research supports that autism often goes under-diagnosed and misdiagnosed in cisgender women and that Autistic traits manifest differently in girls (Lai et al., 2020, Head et al., 2014; Loomes et al., 2017; and Frazier, 2014). However, recent research illustrates that trans individuals may be even more likely to go undiagnosed (Warrier et al., 2021). Just as autism can present differently in cis girls, there may also be specific manifestations of autistic traits within the trans community that are not captured in the research and are best understood by those with lived experience.
Here is a brief version of what I have learned:
Autistic People Are More Likely to Identify as Non-Heterosexual
According to a 2018 study, over 69% of Autistic participants identified as non-heterosexual (George and Stokes, 2018). A second study found that while around 4.5% of the general population identifies as non-heterosexual, 15-35% of the autistic community does (Sarris, 2020).
Trans People Are More Likely to Be Autistic
The most up to date research shows that people who do not identify with the sex they were assigned at birth are three to six times as likely to be Autistic as cisgender people are. According to the largest study yet to examine the connection, about 5 percent of the cisgender particiapants have autism, whereas 24 percent of the gender-diverse participants were Autistic. It is important to note that this only includes diagnosed Autists–and many adults on the spectrum may be undiagnosed. This same study showed that 4.8%-26% of people who present at gender clinics had an autism diagnosis (compared to 1-2% of the general population). Based on the global population, Warrier et al.2021 estimate somewhere between 3-9% of transgender and gender-diverse adults may be autistic.
“Autigender” is a term that some autistic people use to describe their relationship with gender. Lyric Holmans (they/them, xe/xem) of the Neurodivergent Rebel defines Autigender as “the relationship between being autistic and how that can influence and impact someones relationship with their gender identity and their experience of gender.”
Trans and Autistic Children and Adolescents
First things first, gender variance is hard to operationalize and quantify and one study showed Autistic children/adolescents were 4 times more likely to be Gender-diverse (Hisle-Gorman, et al., 2019). Previous studies found that between 4% and 5.4% of autistic children may potentially be transgender or gender-diverse (compared to 0.7% of non-autistic children) (Jansen et al., 2016, Strang and the gang, 2014, May et al., 2017).
Autism and Sexuality
Overall, Autists are less likely to desire sexual relationships, although statistics differ from study to study. Two studies indicated that autistic people were more likely to be asexual and aromantic than neurotypical/neuroconforming people (Attanasio et al., 2021; George and Stokes, 2018). Another found that 30% of 230 autistic people surveyed found sexual experiences unpleasant (Lai et al., 2011). This begs the question of how much is a sensory sensitivity versus sexual attraction or desire. These results highlight the need for specialized sex education that is LGBTQ+ neurodivergence informed to develop healthy identities and relationships (George and Stokes et al., 2018, Pecora et al., 2020).
Autism and Relationship Structures
Research indicates that autistic people are more likely to engage in non-traditional relationship structures including polyamory, consensual non-monogamy, and kink (Gratton, 2019; Schöttle et. al., 2017).
Polyamory: the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved.
Consensual Non-Monogamy: umbrella term for relationships in which all partners give explicit consent to engage in romantic, intimate, and/or sexual relationships with multiple people.
Sensory Sensitivities
When assessing more carefully for autistic traits I found that the majority of my clients reported sensory sensitivities that would not have been captured in a typical therapy intake. I myself have come to learn through this process that I too have far more sensory sensitivities than I was aware of! Regardless of an autism diagnosis, transgender & gender-diverse adults were more likely to report a higher level of autistic traits and sensory sensitives compared with cisgender adults (Warrier et al., 2021).
School Changes and Bullying
Many of my clients have chronically struggled with school avoidance and issues related to bullying. At times it was clearly to do with their trans identity, but much of the time it presented as a nebulous avoidance which now makes sense through the lens of Autism. Adesman et al., (2020) found that trans-autistic youth were much more likely to have experienced bullying from peers (particularly cyber-bullying) resulting in transitioning schools more frequently.
What does all of this tell us?
We have to stop assuming neuroconformity/neurotypicality
Listening to people with lived experience is crucial.
Improving access to diagnosis and neuro-competant care is essential!
Any care providers working with trans and gender diverse youth would benefit from including ASD/ADHD screeners as part of routine care.
More tailored support is necessary so young people don’t have to educate providers, educators, parents, and peers.
We need to understand how autism presents in trans and gender diverse folks to provide more informed care.
Just a few Autistic gender diverse folks I’ve learned so much from:
Megan Anna Neff, Psy.D (she/they) Autism Infographics and blog. They’ve created lots of great resources for you to check out and have recommended reading for Autistic teens and young adults!
Sonny Jane Wise (they/them) The Lived Experience Educator’s website is chock full of resources and they also provide presentations and consulting!
TJ (they/them/she/her) Nigh Functioning Autism has a blog and parenting resources!
Lyric Holmans (they/them, xe/xem) of the Neurodivergent Rebel has a blog, resources, and more ways to support xir work!
There are too many people to name, but this will get you started on your neuro-curious journey!
Exploring Neuroqueer Identities Masterclass is here! Given the high prevalence of ADHD and Autism within the LGBTQ+ population, in this one-hour workshop, Dr. Megan Anna Neff and I delve into the intersection of these identities. Participants will gain a deeper understanding of the unique stressors experienced by neuroqueer individuals and learn practical strategies to support the common challenges they face.
A great way to be an ally is learning the proper terms to discuss 2SLGBTQ+ topics.
To download a PDF of gender and sexuality terms click here.
Has a kid in your life recently come out to you? Check out my guide!
Want to better understand gender so you can support the kids in your life?
Sign up for How To Talk To Kids About Gender, the course that helps parents and caregivers have the not-so-difficult conversations that matter about gender.
