Embracing The Gender Journey: Supporting Trans and Nonbinary Grandchildren
In my role as a gender specialist, I have had the recent privilege of facilitating groups for grandparents of trans and nonbinary youth. The dedication and commitment these grandparents demonstrate in seeking to understand and support their grandchildren is both commendable and deeply touching. Along the way, I've observed a recurring theme: a desire for clarity and assurance about the future.
Questions often arise: "Will they find love?" "If they identify as nonbinary, does that correlate with a specific sexual orientation?" "How will society perceive them?" “Will they be safe in this world?” These concerns, while specific to gender and sexuality, echo a universal parental and grandparental anxiety about a child's future.
The reality is that predicting anyone's future based on a singular aspect of their identity, whether it's gender, sexuality, or any other factor, is impossible. The trajectory of an individual's life, their experiences, relationships, and personal evolution, remains uncertain regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation.
For grandparents who seek definitive answers or a roadmap for their grandchild's journey, the truth is that no such guide exists. Aware of the finite nature of life, many grandparents express a deep desire to ensure the best for their grandchildren. Life's inherent unpredictability applies to everyone, irrespective of their identities.
However, while the future remains uncertain, the present offers a tangible opportunity. Instead of attempting to foresee outcomes, we have an opportunity to actively participate in the journey. This means listening, offering support, and providing unconditional love. The aim is not to have all the answers but to be a consistent pillar of support.
The grandparents I’ve had the privilege of working with are learning that the process of gender exploration and identity formation can be complex. It's a deeply individualized experience, and no two journeys are identical. Grandparents can play an instrumental role by educating themselves, seeking resources, and engaging in open dialogues.
In the broader spectrum of life, change is inevitable. Embracing this change, especially when it pertains to the ones we love, can be both challenging and rewarding. By actively participating in our grandchildren's journeys and being present in their narratives, we not only foster understanding but also fortify the bonds that connect generations.
While the desire to ensure a safe and fulfilling future for our children and grandchildren is natural, the most impactful support we can offer is our presence, understanding, and unwavering love in the present. As they navigate their own paths, knowing they are not alone makes all the difference.
Take Action Today!
Go to the Protect Trans Youth page for ways to take action, resources, and suggestions for where to donate your time and money.
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